Facebook Isn't All Bad

I just read this on Facebook, posted by Voices For Virtue.  See, there are good things to find on Facebook!

"It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is.  It all works out.  Don't worry.  I say that to myself every morning.  It all works out in the end.  Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future.  The Lord will not forsake us.  He will not forsake us.  If we will put our trust in Him, if we will pray to Him, if we will live worthy of His blessing, He will hear our prayers."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

Thoughts about a Porcupine

This is a longer, slightly rambling post.  No hard feelings if you skip this one readers.  :)

I have served in Young Women's for close to eight years now.  I love it!!!  I have had some very memorable experiences.  I love working with all types of personalities.  Some of these girls are open books with lots of hugs and smiles for new faces.  Others are more like a shy little porcupine that isn't quite ready to be hugged yet.  I have learned a lot from all of them.  One of the things that I have had to learn is how to learn to love some of these sweet little porcupines.  

Sometimes it only takes a little work to get one to open up and trust.  Sometimes it takes more than a little work.  And we both have to work.  But when we work at it and we learn to trust, and then love one another, the reward is well worth it. 

One Young Woman in particular was quite a little porcupine.  And now, maybe one of my favorite porcupines.   (I know, I'm not supposed to have favorites.  But it happens.)  We worked hard and I prayed hard to learn to love her.  She has a very strong personality and isn't afraid to speak her mind.  I had to develop a bit of a tough skin and remember that my role as a leader came first, and that hopefully friendship would follow.  It was a great day when I realized that I truly did love her, unconditionally, and that we were friends.  I fought hard to get there!  I love to see her smile and watch as she animatedly shares her life's stories.  I loved to watch her testimony grow and feel the spirit that she shared.  

We continued to work together thru the Young Women's program and experience life together.  Then I noticed her personality changing ever so slightly, and then more drastically.  My porcupine became more defiant, and the quills were out more often than not.  Our friendship was still there, and my love for her, and I prayed even harder to know how to help her.  She made some poor choices and lost some privileges.  I didn't get to see her as much.  Then one day she told me she didn't know if she really had a testimony any more.  This floored me!  I had heard her bear her testimony and felt the Spirit thru her words on more than one occasion.  I was literally speechless.  I hugged her and told her to lean on me, and I would help her.  I didn't know how, but I would.  I reminded her every time we spoke how much I loved her and how much others did too, and that she did have a support group.  

I agonized over this.  I prayed and prayed for something to do to "fix" the situation.  Nothing came.  One day I was shopping and I saw a book about doubt and how Satan uses it as a tool in the latter days.  I knew I needed to share it with my porcupine.  I reminded her again of how much I loved her and shared my testimony with her and reminded her that our Father in Heaven loves her.  She was genuinely happy that I thought of her and wanted to help, but I didn't sense that she wanted to change.  I continued to share my testimony in little ways after that and show my love for her.  

Then a few weeks later, I heard that my young porcupine had made another choice, as was her right.  She chose to leave her home and her loving family and try different experiences.  She is trying to make her way in the world and have the "freedom" of making more choices. 

I have been struggling with her decision!!!!!!!!!!  When I heard the news I literally sobbed.  I felt like I had let her down.  Maybe if I had prayed harder or searched more I could have "fixed" it.  I know that it wasn't my job to fix it, and that my porcupine needs to learn and take responsibility for her choices.  But it still hurts.  I still cry.  But writing my thoughts has helped, and I know that others are hurting for her too.  

I wish I had a way to get in touch with my porcupine.  I know that she knows how to get in touch with me when she is ready.  I know that somewhere inside all those quills she has a testimony, and for now I will pray  that it can find its way out.  My time in her life is over - for now - and I will relish the memories we shared.  I hope that she will remember them fondly too.  I know that as much as I want to wallow, there are other porcupines awaiting my love and attention.  So, as President Hickley shared from his father, I will "get back to work!"